Irritable church folk

There is a guy in my church who is not happy with one of my staff members.   It doesn't happen all that often--if you've got good staff members.  He's written my staff guy two emails and copied me on both of them. He doesn't feel his student is being take care of properly.  Both of the emails were caustic, negative, and demanding . . . you know, the kind that if they said that to your face you'd punch 'em in the nose!  But because they can hide behind the distance of an email, they take their cheap shots.

I don't like getting involved supervising a staff member who is not one of my direct reports.  I prefer to let the supervisor handle it.  I have a three-pronged strategy: 1) Ignore, assuming the staff member will handle it properly; 2) If the issue is not resolved, ask the staff member and supervisor what the status is; 3) Get involved in the solution.  So, I ignored the first one.  After the second email I sent an email to my staff guy and his supervisor asking, "What's the status on this?  Do you need my help?"  I want to make sure my words to my staff don't assume they haven't dealt with it.  I also want to offer my help: sometimes staff feel unequipped to deal with these kinds of situations.  I never, never want my staff to feel like I'm not supporting them.  I back them publicly and then deal with them privately.

My staff person just emailed me 5 minutes ago and told me he had in fact emailed this guy & had tried to call him.  If I had expressed doubt earlier that he was responding properly, damage in the relationship would have resulted.  I gave him two options:  1) copy the guy (and me) all the emails, asserting he had responded, and then call him and try to get a face-to-face with him; 2) Just call him and try to get a face-to-face. I suggested he could do it solo or with his supervisor.  At writing, not sure which he will do. At this point, I have no intention of responding directly to the congregant.  

Irritable church folk can be land mines: handle them and your staff carefully.  Don't slug the member in the nose and don't cut your staff off at the legs!  A measured response is best.